It’s December 27, 2017. Just a few days away from people making their New Year’s resolutions.
You’ve probably seen articles like these showing up on Facebook and Twitter:
- How to set goals for 2018.
- Use this process to make a killing in 2018.
- You shouldn’t be planning for 2018, you should be planning for 2019 and 10 years out.
- Follow this 90 day goal setting process to finally achieve your goals.
I’ve written headlines like this in the past. There’s nothing wrong with any of them. The most important thing is to use a process that actually gets you results. However,
What’s the one thing that’s going to make a real, measurable difference in your life?
I’d like to narrow down this goal-setting process to the core of what matters.
Note: this is not to exclude others, but I want to ask gay male readers specifically, the following question:
What’s the most important thing you want to do differently as a gay man in 2018?
How to answer this question
Avoid referencing the external world. My question is not about what you want to achieve, or what you want to have.
My question is about “who you want to be” and “what you need to do” to be that person. Ask deeper questions like,
- How can I be authentic?
- How can I live a life with meaning?
- How can I have an impact on my friends, family, the people I love, and humanity?
How can you do all of that as a self identified, and proud gay man?
Dig deep and go inward
You might need to meditate on this question. Ask this question before having a bath or a shower. I get terrific ideas in water because I’m forced to relax in one place without distraction.
I’m actually using speech to text to write this article while laying in a nice, warm Epson salt bath.
I’d recommend going for long walk in nature by yourself. Put the question in your mind and think about it. Then, follow this process to do a selfie video for one’s self to answer the question.
What am I really asking of you?
I want to make the world a better place for gay men.
Yes, that includes the entire LGBTQ spectrum, but I’m a self identified, proud gay man, and that’s what I know best. I’m simply disclosing that fact so other people do not feel excluded, but understand I’m coming from my strengths.
To make the world a better place, I have chosen to work with gay man, to help them break out of the box that fucks with their greatness and who they want to be.
Gay men are powerful, wonderful, intelligent, empathetic, insightful, spiritual, creative, and a necessary part of a functioning society.
My work as a gay coach is to help other gay men who may not feel authentically validated, who might not feel they are completely accepted for who they are; for who they are as a man who loves intimately and sexually another man.
If you want to achieve something extraordinary in 2018 how will you achieve that if part of your identity is blocked or in the closet?
How will you bring others to your cause, movement, or business, if you are holding back emotions that cause discomfort or are a tinderbox of rage within you?
To be the best in our work, our craft, and our relationships, we need to express ourselves from a place of love, forgiveness, understanding, self-acceptance, and unbridled pride.
If there’s any part of you that doesn’t feel good enough, and you’re not sure where that comes from, you may have unresolved gay shame. That’s normal and nothing to be ashamed about.
Debbie Downer does 2018 right!
I hope this article comes across as empowering, and not depressing. Sometimes we need to face our inner demons, or our unconscious stories, so we can freely and easily move forward.
I invite you to comment below by answering this question,
What’s the most important thing I want to do differently as a gay man in 2018?
Want some help with this?
Here are two options:
- Comment with your answer to my question below so I can interact with you.
- Or, if you need more privacy, send me a private message using this form.
Also, make sure you sign up for my free, Unbox Your Greatness 7-day video course. It's fucking awesome! :-) Live, love, and be well.