Do You Know What Truly Makes You Happy? (Your Leadership Depends on It)

Take a moment to consider what makes you happy—and to feel into the experience.

Feel into the memories of what makes you happy: A person, place, moment, or a sensation?

Then ask: Why does that particular thing bring me joy? What is it about that experience that feels so good?

We often hurry through life without noticing what actually elevates us—or why. We’re usually too busy or distracted to notice if we’re doing anything to consciously cultivate those moments.

I believe happiness is something we cultivate.

No one else can make you happy, though they might do or say something that creates an experience of happiness in you—because you're already aligned with that feeling, that person, that environment, or that moment.

So… what makes me most happy?

Well, cultivating happiness isn’t the result of doing just one thing. It’s many small things, over time. It evolves. And to me, happiness is really the awareness and perception of the people, places, events, and actions that elevate and expand our sense of joy.

What This Moment Taught Me About Happiness

In the photo above, taken on December 26, 2023, my partner Christiaan, our dog Scooby, and I went for a long 3-hour walk to Mt. Royal in Montreal. We’re standing at the lookout, facing the city and the St. Lawrence River, though you can’t tell from the photo.

The whole experience brought me joy because it was made up of so many micro-moments of alignment:

• Being with Christiaan again after four months apart.
• The quiet stillness of the holiday — in a part of the city that’s usually busy and loud.
• Scooby, who was taking his longest walk ever with us, radiating his usual unconditional love and curiosity.
• The comfortable, easy, and playful enjoyment we all share being together.

Just looking at that image still makes me smile.

And that’s a clue to happiness: Short-lived but often repeated moments of good feeling—when noticed and savoured—are what cultivate joy.

Here’s the part that many people miss:

If happiness feels fleeting, maybe it’s because we expect it to arrive instead of choosing to grow it.

Joy isn’t self-sustaining.

It diminishes if we don’t feed it, it evolves, and it can surprise us, presenting differently than expected.

This is why we cultivate happiness, instead of chasing it. It’s a way of taking personal responsibility for the quality of our well-being, discernment, and our human-heartedness toward others and the world.

Because if you don’t feel well, you can’t lead well.

When you conscientiously cultivate happiness in yourself, you become a more effective and impactful leader—one who leads from equanimity and inspiration, not depletion and discord.

When your leadership is rooted in how you cultivate happiness, imagine the alignment and engagement you’ll create with others.

So now I’m asking you:

What makes you happy — really, deeply happy?

Take a moment to name one or more things that bring you joy—then share it in the comments.

Let’s remind each other what makes leadership rooted in happiness and human-heartedness worth supporting.

👉 Join me inside my free 7-day program, Empower Your Leadership with Queer Integrity—a coaching experience for LGBTQ+ leaders who want to lead with conviction, clarity, purpose, and queer joy.

Starts Saturday, May 24, 2025 inside my private Facebook group: Leading with Queer Integrity.

Want me to personally help you create your next leadership leap?

If reading this stirred something in you—a desire to feel more grounded, more joyful, and more aligned in your leadership—let’s explore that together.

I offer single-session coaching for $225 (Canadian), created for moments just like this: when something inside you is itching to shift, and you’re ready to move. We’ll take the time we need (usually under 90 minutes) to clarify what’s emerging and help you act on it with clarity, conviction, and direction.

Book your coaching session now: