Queering The Way: A Virtue Ethics for the Margins

In April 2024, I published an article that I used to launch a new publication on Medium. I opened with:

After two months of trying to find the right naming for my virtue ethics philosophy, “Queering The Way” came out of nowhere. I immediately wrote it down, followed by the description, ‘Navigating virtue ethics and human-hearted leadership through the margins of the Tao Te Ching.’

Well, here I find myself returning to that inflection point, similar to one of the core themes found in the pages of the Tao Te Ching about the cycle of life-death-life.

The Tao Te Ching observes that life and death are not opposites; rather, they are a natural, cyclical flow of the universe — the Tao — which is in a continuous process of endless transformation. Similarly, beginnings and endings depend on each other. They are mutually arising polarities that allow us to live within this binary description.

So the question I need to ask is: Did I veer off-course, or was I simply navigating what, I thought, was the right direction, only to wind up where I needed to be?

“The journey of a thousand miles begins beneath your feet.” (1)

No matter how far you go, there you are. Beginnings and endings; endings and beginnings.

What “Queering The Way” Actually Means

As early as 2019, I have been reading multiple translations of the Tao Te Ching. For most of 2025, I wrote almost exclusively about queer leadership and integrity, based on principles I've developed out of my research on the Tao Te Ching and behavioural change coaching rooted in neuroscience.

Underpinning all of my ideas are the tenets of self-mastery, self-awareness, and the personal responsibility required to show up virtuously in the world. I believe that we all have a voice, but that we are also each one among many. We are all connected by our human nature, and we are all equally deserving of dignity, understanding, and acceptance.

“Queering The Way” is as much a path forward for me as for anyone else who wants to practice a non-ideological virtue ethics of human-heartedness toward a shared practice of dignity and respect for all.

“Queering The Way” Isn't a Departure — It's an Expansion

This is a wider dialectic: for LGBTQ+ people, for anyone who thinks queerly, and for anyone willing to challenge the systems that got us here — because those same systems won't get us where we need to go.

A note on the pivot.

If you've followed me under the banner of “Leading with Queer Integrity,” you'll recognize the ideas here, but the path has widened. “Queering The Way” encompasses everything I have been writing about, and opens the door to synthesizing the issues that affect LGBTQ+ people and anyone willing to challenge the hegemony. The subtitle of this article, “It’s just a jump to the left”, is a little tongue-in-cheek. You either know the reference or you don't.

Either way, you're welcome here.

The Tao Te Ching as the Foundation

Have you ever found yourself immersed in a book or text so profound that it reshapes your perspective on life?

The Tao we have today consists of 81 chapters, which might not be the complete text and may contain chapters that were never part of the original. Academic debates are still ongoing. It is perhaps one of the shortest so-called spiritual texts ever written, easy enough to read, yet one of the most challenging to comprehend.

Discerning the philosophy of the Tao Te Ching is an invitation to both observe and evolve one's moral and ethical thinking. It's not a limited practice. It's not like you will put down your well-read copy one day and say, ‘Now I understand everything! There's no need for me to ever read this again.’

“To know that you do not know is highest.
To not know but think you know is flawed.” (2)

I've been hinting that I'm writing a book about it — a human-hearted virtue ethics approach to leadership — for so damn long that I might appear to be clueless to anyone who's been paying attention. And yet, that uncertainty is precisely the point.

“Not-knowing is true knowledge.” (3)

Nature knows no hierarchy.

No one person is better than any other.

It is unfortunate and tragic that this simple idea needs to be repeated and justified over and over again. There is absolutely no precedent in the natural world for racism, prejudice, or dogmatic constructs like religion, authoritarian governments, and other forms of social and hierarchical systems of oppression.

In other words, the only way you can believe you are superior to anyone else — or more deserving — is because you believe a fiction, a myth, a religious or political narrative that creates prejudice.

You can influence, not control.

Have you ever sat on the bank of a river, gazing at the water as it flows downstream?

Water flows by itself. The course of water is not something we can affect by our will. Sure, we can build a dam or divert a river, but we cannot control how water moves; we cannot make it go faster or slower. Water's nature is to flow in accord with gravity, another force we cannot see with the naked eye, but one we can observe through its effect on objects.

How this applies to caring about humanity and acceptance is found in the awareness that we can only take personal responsibility for our actions. When we embrace this practice and lead ourselves in such a way that other people are inspired by our actions, we then realize the possibility of our power as a capacity to influence the way people think and act. It is absolutely false to think you can control other people.

Of course, you can also indoctrinate people. But even within the process of brainwashing, there always exists the potential for the individual to act in opposition to control. Complete control of your individual freedom by someone else is not normal and is against human nature. Brainwashing is not something that happens instantly, but under optimal conditions that include time, repetition, and false pretences, people can become radicalized.

On Intolerance and Why Silence Isn't an Option

To recall ACT-UP's famous slogan: ”Silence equals death.”

We should not tolerate acts of intolerance.

Instead, I believe we can choose to tolerate the individual. Allow this idea to follow on the heels of what I wrote about indoctrination: the latter is a system of control applied over time, which should never be tolerated.

Changing intolerant minds starts at the level of the heart. In practice, we need to connect with and appeal to people's emotions, starting with self-acceptance, and then moving outwards to recognize the value of mutual acceptance, connection, empathy, and understanding. This is what human-heartedness as a virtue seeks to accomplish. It will be easier for some, and feel damn near impossible with others.

Why the Tao Scares Orthodoxy

The Tao Te Ching shines light on a way of navigating life that is simple, down to earth, and based on the observable laws of nature of which we are a part. It was written about 2,500 years ago without the distraction of industry, technology, or dense metropolitan cities that exist apart from nature entirely. Yet, it is precisely this "ancient wisdom" that can provide a uniquely new perspective if we are open to it.

What I find fascinating is that Taoism has always been supportive of people living on the margins. According to Wing-Tsit Chan:

“Throughout Chinese history, Taoism has always been the philosophy of the minority and the suppressed, and that secret societies, in their revolt against oppressive rulers, have often raised the banner of Taoism.” (4)

The reason for this is profoundly simple: the Tao Te Ching requires the reader to think for themselves.

Through aphorisms, metaphors, poetic-like brevity, and without storytelling, you need to contemplate the text to understand its meaning, or at least what you think it means, since absolute certainty is the antithesis of the Tao Te Ching.

The Tao requires the reader to think critically. It invites the reader to question what they see happening in their family, society, government, traditions, and institutions by comparing them to patterns observable in nature. If the individual can see through the limitation of binary thinking and polarizing ideas, that individual is a threat to authority and ideologies.

The Tao Te Ching contains zero commandments.

There are no dictates, no dogma, no “thou shalt not” pronouncements. It never speaks directly to the reader, yet it has guided millions toward moral living for thousands of years.

This is the difference between teaching and wisdom: Teaching tells you what to think, whereas wisdom helps you learn how to think.

The Tao Te Ching offers wisdom through insight and observation. Religious texts like the Bible teach and command.

More to the point, I question the validity and truthfulness of authoritarian and fundamentalist religious systems. The problem I have with religious systems is that they can be too easily radicalized into fundamentalist thinking, taken over by a single individual whom people revere and follow blindly, unquestionably.

If every challenge to one’s beliefs is countered with a memorized quotation of scripture, that’s not ethics, not truth; that’s a performative morality lacking any true virtue. We are capable of thinking for ourselves, acting humanely, and making decisions for the betterment of society simply by seeing ourselves in others.

We don't need a god or religious systems to frighten us into acting morally and ethically.

An Invitation

It is my mission to help people think critically and question what they believe to be truth. It is also my mission to support the well-being and humane human rights of all queer and trans people.

Respecting the dignity of every person is indeed challenging work, which doesn’t mean you have to like everyone you meet.

If we start from a place of defensiveness, prejudice, or self-righteousness, we cultivate discord, disconnection, and disparity. Even a casual glance through history will demonstrate how the world would be safer, happier, and free from wars if we committed to a larger practice of humility, compassion, and critical thinking. The Tao Te Ching observes from the margins to see the systems that need to be challenged. I’m consciously and proactively doing the same. This path is as much yours as it is mine to travel.

I invite you to subscribe, and also comment with your questions and insights.

1. Lin, Derek, trans. Tao Te Ching: Annotated and Explained. Vermont: Skylight Paths, 2011.
2. Ibid.
3. Mitchell, Stephen, trans. Tao Te Ching: a New English Version. New York: HarperCollins, 2000.
4. Chan, Wing-Tsit, trans. The Way of Lao Tzu (Tao-te Ching). New Jersey: Prentice-Hall, 1963.