Think Queerly Thought Leadership | TQ225
Dax Moy is a coach, educator, mentor, author, public speaker, and strength trainer.
In every aspect of how Dax shows up in the world is his desire to help people experience themselves as the version of themselves that they most want to meet.
Dax was my coach for a year and a half while I was part of his MindMap Mastery Coaching program. I was awarded my diploma in February 2022.
We get right into the meaning of one’s purpose and how that functions as your north star. Your purpose is the best story you can tell yourself about why you think you’re here.
Think of your purpose as what you intend to exchange for the currency of the days of your life.
Most of our challenges in life come from language and linguistic challenges— an inability to be clear with our words.
If we use too few words to describe our experiences and feelings, our communication will be vague and lacking in granularity. The more granular we are in our explanations and conversations, the more simple life becomes because we will clearly understand what things mean, as well as having clear distinctions about what we are experiencing.
We are seeing a loss in the skill of intentionality within communication, especially online.
Are we communicating unskilfully because we are not being clear with our words and because we are not caring to make sure others understand what we mean?
True communication requires a clear transmission of intention. The root meaning of communication means to become one with another. If we are not clear about our intentions before connecting with someone else, we will get into trouble through a lack of understanding.
We transmit our intentions with every aspect of who we are, including our posture, tone of voice, facial expressions, and physical environments (like our home) to communicate meaning.
Skillful communication is an invitation to help someone else come to a middle ground to find agreement, versus telling someone what they have to do.
Understanding our emotions and feelings helps us make aligned decisions with what’s meaningful to us.
Emotions are the totality of your sensory systems, both internal and external. Emotions almost always cause us to act (fight/flight/freeze; hunger; thirst). For example, a gut feeling is an emotional process that is a combination of our sensory systems providing various signals that in turn cause us to act.
Feelings, on the other hand, are cognitive. Feelings are the conscious perceptions of our sensory-driven emotions.
Our feelings can also be the cause of problems if we create narratives and stories that don’t serve us, or if we hold values or beliefs that we have never questioned. When a situation in life confronts one of these stories, we react emotionally based on the fictions we have created that don’t serve our well-being. Feelings don’t always cause us to act (whereas emotions do). Instead, we may get caught up in analyzing what we should do and remain stuck.
What is depression?
Depression finds its roots as a form of internal apathy rooted in helplessness and hopelessness. This is a suppression of what you’re feeling and emoting which keeps you from taking action to change your state.
Neuroscience and morality?
We end the episode with a discussion about how neuroscience can give us a better understanding of morality as a social construct, and how the limitations of a binary morality can be used to dehumanize and demonize others.
For the common good, we need to start leaning into more solo morality instead of tribal and group morality. Dax suggests,
“Don’t show up in the world telling people how they should be. Show up in the world being how you are and who you choose to be.”
Dax has served as a soldier in the UK, survived the Tsunami with his family, written several books, and won two awards from the National Academy Of Best Selling Authors and one from The National Academy Of Expert Speakers.
He’s appeared on every UK TV channel, and has written for or been featured in everything from the New York Times to The Washington Post, Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Grazia, Men’s Health and more. He’s spoken at conferences, seminars, and workshops worldwide and created internationally esteemed certifications in neuroscience, endocrinology, pain management and performance coaching.
Furthermore, he has coached people from all walks of life including Fortune 500 CEOs, multi-platinum award-winning performance artists, Oscar-winning and nominated actors, celebrated entrepreneurs, athletes, soldiers, and even royalty.
Given what he has experienced in life — from the meteoric rise of his career, success and happiness, to the catastrophic impact of the tsunami, personal loss, and the madness of PTSD — Dax knows what it feels like to be deep in the darkest depths of despair, as well as the highest heights of achievement and everything in between.
It has been both his passion and life’s purpose to help those who are struggling to create improvement in their lives and to do so faster, and easier, with less suffering, struggle, and stress than what they’ve been experiencing.
When you’re ready to go from IDEA(tion) to making a difference as a queer creative, here’s how we can work together.